So I did remember get on the scale to weigh in this morning, before breakfast. And astonishingly, I broke even, despite my many food-related indiscretions this past week.
I can only chalk this up to having gotten in some serious cardio the past few days, although not in a gym. Two days ago I had to clean and prepare our rental apartment for new guests, and each time I do that it takes at least two full hours of sweat. That day I also had a lot of up-hill (and down-hill) walking as well. Yesterday was more of the same, including two trips to pick up and bring home a playmate of my step-son, and his family lives on the 4th (5th American) floor of a building with no elevator. (It could have been worse; he's got another friend who lives on the 6th (7th American) floor of a neighboring building with no elevator, and I avoid going there like the plague despite the fact that I like the kid and his family. But seriously? Who wants an apartment on the 7 floor with no elevator? They're younger parents than we are so maybe they've got more energy.)
I've also banned soda from the house - even the sugar-free stuff. I will have it once in a while now when I'm out somewhere, but that involves buying a single serving rather than having liters of it at my disposal. My husband agrees with this for himself also; we were drinking too much of it. So it's juice and water in our house now, and I think drinking the extra water is helping me as well.
As you can see, I'm trying to focus more on what I'm doing right rather than what I'm doing wrong. That's not to say that I'm unaware I am still making poor choices, and that this must stop if I want to drop the weight. I've been on WW and writing this blog now for 79 days and at the moment I'm still only showing a TOTAL loss of 2.4 pounds.
This is not exactly a good thing.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Day... ?: Fallen
I have fallen way off the wagon, I must admit. Not sure why, exactly. Nothing has "happened" that is particularly shocking, upsetting or stressful (well, nothing stressful that wasn't already there all along anyway). But I'm back at home and getting back into my usual routine... and my "routine" apparently leaves a lot of room for mindless snacking and not bothering to plan ahead for what I'm eating when I'm home alone all day. Need to start fresh and focus on ingraining some much better habits into my lifestyle, or nothing will ever change. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (said Ben Franklin).
My step-daughter is apparently doing great on WW though. She's lost, as of Monday, 10 kilos which is 22 pounds, and in just five weeks! I'm so proud of her and she seems really happy to be getting results with a program that is, as she calls it, "so efficient". Clearly, she is learning that she can lose weight and take control of her body without suffering or starving, and at 21 this is a very valuable thing for her to be discovering. Good habits instilled now can last her a lifetime. I think she may always be someone who has to think about her weight and what she's putting in her mouth -- it's just her physical make-up -- but what I've been telling her is that now she has the tools to manage this over the course of her life. I think this appeals to her logical mind more than some emotional rationale might. That's a law student for you, you have to give them facts and evidence to prove your case. :)
For me, overeating is definitely a more emotion-related thing. I can give all sorts of logical "reasons" why I do this or that, but at the end of the day when I over-indulge it is always a matter of some inner trigger and me just reacting to it automatically, without thinking (or if I do think about it, I manage to push those thoughts aside while eating another piece of chocolate).
Today was actually supposed to be weigh-in day but I'm going to weigh in tomorrow, as I completely forgot about weighing myself this morning and now I've already eaten breakfast. I'm not anticipating good news but I have to face the realities. On the more positive side, I got in a great workout yesterday what with cleaning our rental apartment for three hours and walking there (steep uphill walk) and back TWICE because of guests checking out and checking in. I need more of THAT sort of thing, for sure.
As Scarlett O'Hara said at the end of "Gone With the Wind", when facing yet another crisis in her life: "Tomorrow is another day!"
My step-daughter is apparently doing great on WW though. She's lost, as of Monday, 10 kilos which is 22 pounds, and in just five weeks! I'm so proud of her and she seems really happy to be getting results with a program that is, as she calls it, "so efficient". Clearly, she is learning that she can lose weight and take control of her body without suffering or starving, and at 21 this is a very valuable thing for her to be discovering. Good habits instilled now can last her a lifetime. I think she may always be someone who has to think about her weight and what she's putting in her mouth -- it's just her physical make-up -- but what I've been telling her is that now she has the tools to manage this over the course of her life. I think this appeals to her logical mind more than some emotional rationale might. That's a law student for you, you have to give them facts and evidence to prove your case. :)For me, overeating is definitely a more emotion-related thing. I can give all sorts of logical "reasons" why I do this or that, but at the end of the day when I over-indulge it is always a matter of some inner trigger and me just reacting to it automatically, without thinking (or if I do think about it, I manage to push those thoughts aside while eating another piece of chocolate).
Today was actually supposed to be weigh-in day but I'm going to weigh in tomorrow, as I completely forgot about weighing myself this morning and now I've already eaten breakfast. I'm not anticipating good news but I have to face the realities. On the more positive side, I got in a great workout yesterday what with cleaning our rental apartment for three hours and walking there (steep uphill walk) and back TWICE because of guests checking out and checking in. I need more of THAT sort of thing, for sure.
As Scarlett O'Hara said at the end of "Gone With the Wind", when facing yet another crisis in her life: "Tomorrow is another day!"
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Days 70-71: Do-over
OK, so 222.6 today. Yes, weigh-in day again. I'm down for the week but up about 2 lbs. from my great success of having lost that first 5 lbs. Now I will have to re-lose those pounds. Yet again.
Not super happy about all this, but it is what it is, and dwelling on it won't make things better. What will make things better is to shake off the past mistakes and start over.
Maybe what is important for me to take away from this is that weight loss is always, always, always a do-over opportunity. If you fall down, you get back up again and keep moving. It's never too late unless you DECIDE it's too late. You can always start fresh.
I went to the supermarket yesterday and was proud of myself for buying NO fizzy sugary drinks and NO cookies or sweets. I did buy a bag of potato chips for my husband but I don't like salty snacks, so there's no danger there for me from having them in the house. We do have cookies in the house because we have a child who is actually a little under-weight, so other than just not wanting him to have too much sugar (that's not healthy for anyone) there is no reason to prevent him from having a treat every afternoon. But I am trying to buy cookies I don't even like, so I'm less tempted. Unfortunately the kid has now discovered Oreos.
Instead, I bought mainly fruits and vegetables and chicken and yogurt. Then last night I made a stir-fry of chicken, zucchini and red peppers with a little bit of teriyaki sauce. Probably a little too much sodium in the sauce for the night before a weigh-in (I learned long ago that on Weight Watchers you try to avoid salty foods the day before you weigh) but it was easy and delicious. And I got to try out these new ceramic knives we bought on vacation (we're into the French "Master Chef" TV show and my husband spotted these knives that they talked about on the show last season) - they are FABULOUS! Anyway, dinner was light and delicious and healthy. And I got to feel a bit more virtuous.
So the do-over begins. Do-over... do-BETTER. That's my motto for the week.
Not super happy about all this, but it is what it is, and dwelling on it won't make things better. What will make things better is to shake off the past mistakes and start over.
Maybe what is important for me to take away from this is that weight loss is always, always, always a do-over opportunity. If you fall down, you get back up again and keep moving. It's never too late unless you DECIDE it's too late. You can always start fresh.
I went to the supermarket yesterday and was proud of myself for buying NO fizzy sugary drinks and NO cookies or sweets. I did buy a bag of potato chips for my husband but I don't like salty snacks, so there's no danger there for me from having them in the house. We do have cookies in the house because we have a child who is actually a little under-weight, so other than just not wanting him to have too much sugar (that's not healthy for anyone) there is no reason to prevent him from having a treat every afternoon. But I am trying to buy cookies I don't even like, so I'm less tempted. Unfortunately the kid has now discovered Oreos.
So the do-over begins. Do-over... do-BETTER. That's my motto for the week.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Days 58-69: Back from vacation
We got back from our vacation last Wednesday, and last Thursday was my first weigh-in at home on my regular scale in almost four weeks. I had a gain of about 2.6 pounds. Then, we took our youngest to Disneyland Paris over the weekend during the HOTTEST TWO DAYS OF 2012.
I sweated and walked off that whole 2.6 lbs. Talk about losing weight the hard way, that heat wave was hell. We still had fun at Disney but just didn't do as many things as we ideally wanted to do; the heat made it impossible to fit everything in without taking frequent breaks to cool off.
Although I would have liked to have lost more on this vacation over the past month, the fact is that I'm probably lucky I didn't gain 10 lbs. We were with my sister-in-law for 3 weeks and 3 days of our time away, and she just got out of the hospital (hip replacement) and since she's actually under-weight, she needed some fattening up to improve her health. My husband took on this challenge and consequently there was a lot of beef, potatoes and other good things cooked and served without weight-LOSS in mind at all. I did my best to get in some activity every day, but there were a few super-hot days where it just made more sense to lay low in an air-conditioned room. I don't deal with extreme heat very well. On the upside, I was very pleased that I had ZERO mobility problems on this trip: walking, swimming and moving around in general was easy, natural and NORMAL. After a rough winter and spring where I had increasing issues with joint pain and found out I have arthritis in my ankles and knees, it feels good to just be able to get around without pain again!
Now that we're home, the vacation is over (and the heatwave is nearly done, I think), I can get back to basics. My husband and I tend to get lazy about meals when we're on our own without any kids to feed, and we'll have more days on our own now that the holidays are winding down, so this is a challenge.
So... lots of fresh salads, chicken and fish will be on the menu, I think. I want to cut back on the red meat and potatoes and fried stuff for a couple of weeks. Also the sweets: vacation was an excuse to eat bonbons (what the French call all sorts of candies like gummy bears, etc.) and ice cream.
In the past, if I had overdone things on a holiday, I might come back and just give up altogether. What I am choosing to do differently this time is to NOT let my success or lack of success at vacation weight loss derail me from my long-term goal: to be fit, slim and healthy in my 50s and beyond!
I sweated and walked off that whole 2.6 lbs. Talk about losing weight the hard way, that heat wave was hell. We still had fun at Disney but just didn't do as many things as we ideally wanted to do; the heat made it impossible to fit everything in without taking frequent breaks to cool off.
Now that we're home, the vacation is over (and the heatwave is nearly done, I think), I can get back to basics. My husband and I tend to get lazy about meals when we're on our own without any kids to feed, and we'll have more days on our own now that the holidays are winding down, so this is a challenge.
So... lots of fresh salads, chicken and fish will be on the menu, I think. I want to cut back on the red meat and potatoes and fried stuff for a couple of weeks. Also the sweets: vacation was an excuse to eat bonbons (what the French call all sorts of candies like gummy bears, etc.) and ice cream.
In the past, if I had overdone things on a holiday, I might come back and just give up altogether. What I am choosing to do differently this time is to NOT let my success or lack of success at vacation weight loss derail me from my long-term goal: to be fit, slim and healthy in my 50s and beyond!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Days 51-57: Saboteur!
Picture me shrugging my shoulders right now.
Had a little gain this week, which I was kind of expecting. I have this bad habit, when I'm trying to lose weight, where after I have a good week I sort of go out of my way to have a less good one. I ate some stuff I really didn't need to eat, and for no good reason other than "I just felt like it". While I'm eating poorly, I know damn well what I'm doing to myself, and yet I keep on doing it.
Does anyone else sometimes find themselves self-sabotaging like this (or in some other respect)? I think it must be a fairly normal occurrence but not exactly healthy or productive. For years I have tried to figure out why I sometimes do things like this, and so far the only thing I have come up with is: Fear.
But fear of WHAT? Fear of success? Could be. Fear of what life would be like if I wasn't using food as an emotional crutch for every freaking little thing? Definite possibility. Maybe all of the above. I haven't hit on one definitive thing though.
People self-sabotage for all kinds of reasons, but in the end if you want to lose weight and get fit and healthy, you have to quit the sabotaging behaviors whether you fully understand them or not. This is something I have struggled with in other areas of my life, not just in weight loss: I have this strong need to "understand" all the whys and wherefores, and if I don't understand why then I feel like I can't change things.
But that's not really true! If we wait until we know the reason WHY then we are just using the lack of knowing as another excuse NOT to achieve what we want. Right?
So I think what I need to do is kick my inner saboteur's ass to the curb, and just GET OVER MYSELF already.
Three steps forward; two steps back. Not giving up.
Had a little gain this week, which I was kind of expecting. I have this bad habit, when I'm trying to lose weight, where after I have a good week I sort of go out of my way to have a less good one. I ate some stuff I really didn't need to eat, and for no good reason other than "I just felt like it". While I'm eating poorly, I know damn well what I'm doing to myself, and yet I keep on doing it.
Does anyone else sometimes find themselves self-sabotaging like this (or in some other respect)? I think it must be a fairly normal occurrence but not exactly healthy or productive. For years I have tried to figure out why I sometimes do things like this, and so far the only thing I have come up with is: Fear.
But fear of WHAT? Fear of success? Could be. Fear of what life would be like if I wasn't using food as an emotional crutch for every freaking little thing? Definite possibility. Maybe all of the above. I haven't hit on one definitive thing though.
People self-sabotage for all kinds of reasons, but in the end if you want to lose weight and get fit and healthy, you have to quit the sabotaging behaviors whether you fully understand them or not. This is something I have struggled with in other areas of my life, not just in weight loss: I have this strong need to "understand" all the whys and wherefores, and if I don't understand why then I feel like I can't change things.
But that's not really true! If we wait until we know the reason WHY then we are just using the lack of knowing as another excuse NOT to achieve what we want. Right?
So I think what I need to do is kick my inner saboteur's ass to the curb, and just GET OVER MYSELF already.
Three steps forward; two steps back. Not giving up.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Days 47-50: Jumping for joy
Well, there is good news afoot!
First of all, the thing I was stressing about has turned out to be nothing, and all is well. And since if it had gone the other way, it would have been potentially very bad indeed, my sense of relief is HUGE. So I've spent the last day and a half simply feeling grateful (that is, when I haven't been fighting of one of my classic monthly migraines). But hey, you can't have everything and I'll take a lousy migraine any day if it means the people I love are healthy and well!
So this is fabulous stuff. Also fabulous stuff is the fact that I somehow managed to drop 4 lbs this week and finally hit and surpassed my first 5-lb weight loss target! OK so it took me seven weeks to lose that 5.7 lbs, but who the eff cares about that, right? The past two days I haven't had much of an appetite because of the headache thing, but also I've been really watching my portions and doing my best to just eat moderately. That means stopping at ONE pastis at apéro (which we don't do every night anyway) and having ice cream only every OTHER day. (What? Did you think I wasn't going to eat ice cream at the beach in summer?) I also had the fun of seeing the scale, which is in metric here where I'm staying on vacation, drop below 100 kilos for the first time in a LONG time. My doctor would be thrilled. (He'll be even more thrilled when I show up for my next checkup this fall having lost even MORE weight; he's been threatening me with cholesterol meds for two years now.)
And my stepdaughter is working the program too, and doing extremely well so far. It's really her first time doing something like this, so for her this is also about educating herself when it comes to nutrition, food shopping and cooking. She got big results in her first 10 days but it turns out she was not really eating quite enough food every day, according to what the WW program says she ought to have. I don't think she was doing it on purpose, but it's a common issue with people on WW; they think they can lose faster if they cut out a few points of their daily food intake. And yes, in the short run, you CAN lose faster... but you can't sustain that, and sooner or later it backfires when the body goes into the starvation response and starts holding on to that body fat. I've had a chat with her about this so she understands better what she needs to do, and that slower really IS better when it comes to creating lasting change. I'm so proud of her for making this effort for herself. She'll get the hang of it, and it's great that she can use this time in the summer months to make a fresh start, before the demands of her second year of law school take over in September.
I'm excited that things are going in a better direction for both of us (it really is helping me to be helping her) and that I'm still enjoying my holidays without really worrying too much about what I'm eating. I've made my peace with the super-slow-and-steady approach to this thing. Now I can focus on the next 5 lbs (now less than 5 lbs away, actually), which will get me to a total of 10 lbs lost when I get there! And hey, another 5 lbs after that, and I can try on my wedding dress and expect to fit into it.
Onward and downward!
So this is fabulous stuff. Also fabulous stuff is the fact that I somehow managed to drop 4 lbs this week and finally hit and surpassed my first 5-lb weight loss target! OK so it took me seven weeks to lose that 5.7 lbs, but who the eff cares about that, right? The past two days I haven't had much of an appetite because of the headache thing, but also I've been really watching my portions and doing my best to just eat moderately. That means stopping at ONE pastis at apéro (which we don't do every night anyway) and having ice cream only every OTHER day. (What? Did you think I wasn't going to eat ice cream at the beach in summer?) I also had the fun of seeing the scale, which is in metric here where I'm staying on vacation, drop below 100 kilos for the first time in a LONG time. My doctor would be thrilled. (He'll be even more thrilled when I show up for my next checkup this fall having lost even MORE weight; he's been threatening me with cholesterol meds for two years now.)
And my stepdaughter is working the program too, and doing extremely well so far. It's really her first time doing something like this, so for her this is also about educating herself when it comes to nutrition, food shopping and cooking. She got big results in her first 10 days but it turns out she was not really eating quite enough food every day, according to what the WW program says she ought to have. I don't think she was doing it on purpose, but it's a common issue with people on WW; they think they can lose faster if they cut out a few points of their daily food intake. And yes, in the short run, you CAN lose faster... but you can't sustain that, and sooner or later it backfires when the body goes into the starvation response and starts holding on to that body fat. I've had a chat with her about this so she understands better what she needs to do, and that slower really IS better when it comes to creating lasting change. I'm so proud of her for making this effort for herself. She'll get the hang of it, and it's great that she can use this time in the summer months to make a fresh start, before the demands of her second year of law school take over in September.
I'm excited that things are going in a better direction for both of us (it really is helping me to be helping her) and that I'm still enjoying my holidays without really worrying too much about what I'm eating. I've made my peace with the super-slow-and-steady approach to this thing. Now I can focus on the next 5 lbs (now less than 5 lbs away, actually), which will get me to a total of 10 lbs lost when I get there! And hey, another 5 lbs after that, and I can try on my wedding dress and expect to fit into it.
Onward and downward!
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