Weight loss is the one area in life where everyone actually WANTS to be a big loser. Ironically, it is also the one area where, if we're not a big loser in the physical sense, we feel like a HUGE loser emotionally.
I've been struggling with this a lot lately. Intellectually, I know that the more I put my energy into thoughts and beliefs such as "I'll never lose this weight" or "What the fuck is WRONG with me, why can't I stick to my commitment to myself and get healthy?" or any other of a million negative thoughts I might have about this subject, then the more I am likely to stay stuck exactly where I am. Self-fulfilling prophesy, you know? We get what we focus on. I KNOW this... and yet those thoughts are still there, at the root of any more positive thoughts I might have.
I had a dream the other night where for some odd reason, I was near a beach-front area of some kind and I was for some strange reason trying to help some of the local condo owners sell their properties. And two of the people I was trying to help turned out to be sisters Olivia and Hannah from The Biggest Loser Season 11. Olivia won the season and Hannah came in a very close second, and they have kept the weight off ever since. They look utterly fabulous and it's clear that for them, somewhere during their BL season, that "switch" in their brains -- the one that every dieter need to find for themselves if they want to create lasting change with regard to their weight and their health -- had been flipped, because unlike some of the past seasons' contestants and winners who regained some or all of their weight, Olivia and Hannah really seem to have embraced what they learned during the course of the show and have transformed their entire lives accordingly. So they're the kinds of "Losers" who inspire me.
Why I had them in my dream and why my dream had anything whatsoever to do with selling beach-front real estate is beyond me, but dreams aren't about logic.
Ever since I had that dream, I've been rewatching the BL Season 11 episodes. That season was one of my personal favorites as for the most part it was a lot less about "game play" than many of the others and it had fewer contestants who annoyed the hell out of me. I am looking for something that will spark my resolve again. I was at a writer's group meeting on Sunday and at that meeting there were two men who happened to be vegans. One had turned to veganism because he'd had a TIA just this past June and needed to radically change his eating habits and lifestyle (and he's dropped something like 45 lbs since then); the other had turned to veganism because his father had had a quadruple bypass and he (the son) didn't want to follow down that same scary road.
Personally, I'd like to find a spark that doesn't involve that sort of radical change in my diet because frankly, although I'm not a huge meat-eater, there are times I not only enjoy some beef or poultry but I really seem to need the protein boost. (And the whole veganism thing just seems like far too much work and a bit too extreme, so please don't try and "sell" me on it 'cuz I'm not going there.)
My point is, I'm stuck AGAIN on this journey and I'm looking for whatever is going to kick my ass into gear again. Winter and the holidays are quickly approaching, I'm going home to my family in NJ for Thanksgiving and I'd really like to be at least 4-5 lbs lighter when I get there to combat the inevitable few pounds gain that typically happens when I go back. I haven't had Thanksgiving with my family since 2005 so I don't plan to go overboard but I also don't plan to skip all that good food completely. The trouble is, NJ is a car culture and I know that for 2 weeks I won't get in anywhere near as much walking as I do in my normal life in Paris. So... better to plan ahead and drop a few pounds in advance.
So, that's what's going on here. How are you all doing? Tell us your success stories or share your frustrations. It's all fair game. :)
I've been a Weight Watcher since making lifetime in 2003 and have stayed within my healthy range since then. I think what flipped the switch for me was reading "French Women Don't Get Fat." I think I just ate mindlessly, with no sense of balance and too many “treats”/empty calories. FWDGF is so sensible and logical (except for the leek soup fast which I would never try or advise in a million years), I was really inspired by it. Ultimately, I think my changes were two-fold….1) the “aha” moment inspired by the book and 2) joining weight watchers. WW’s tools helped me find a sustainable way of living at a lower weight which is key…there is no deprivation that can be maintained forever. Having said that, it’s an ongoing process, something I work at daily. I still attend meetings, weigh myself every week, find ways to be active as much as possible, and write down everything I eat in the WW e-Tools. It may sound fanatical, but from everything I’ve read, weighing in every week—even if it’s done in private—really helps keep you accountable. I used to have total terror of the scale, but now I just look at it as a weekly litmus test indicating if I should pull back a little in the week ahead or if everything’s in balance. Good luck with your process, Lisa. It’s a hard thing and very personal for everyone. I admire your courage sharing your journey and inspiring all of us.
ReplyDeleteI'm stuck again, too...It is such a mystery to me why this happens. Everyday I wake up with pure resolve. By the end of the day I have strayed. Some things have changed, though...I am riding my bike to work (10 miles round trip) many days and only eating 3 meals and one snack a day (but the meals are not always what I should be eating, and that's where I am stuck). In my next life, I want to have worked out this body issue so I don't have to do it all over again.
ReplyDeleteI know many people think veganism is "the only way to health" but my doc tells me that her vegan patients are the ones who struggle the most with a myriad of issues, high cholesterol being the most surprising one. who knew?
If I may be so bold.
ReplyDeleteIt occurs to me that you want to climb a mountain. And instead of figuring, well, I'm going to climb this mountain one step at a time you're more in the mindset of 'why am I not at the top of this mountain?'
When food and body are wrapped up with emotions and senses of worth, there is disorder.
What is food? Food is nutrition. It's like oxygen - something your body needs to continue performing its function.
I recommended before that you A) plan and B) repeat (known positive) meals frequently and that didn't sit too well. So I would now suggest that you use a positivistic approach. Instead of saying 'I won't eat X' or 'I will never X' say 'I will eat X' and 'I will always X'.
You know what's making your weight a problem: carbs. Particularly refined grains and sugar. Most specifically, an imbalance of 'fast' carbs in relation to fat and protein in your diet.
You probably also know that some sorts of eating are associated with reduction in weight - higher veg intake, brothy soups, healthy fats, etc.
So make those positive changes. Don't say 'I will never eat croissants for breakfast'. Say 'I will eat eggs & fruit for breakfast every day.' If, after eating your positively assigned breakfast you still want a croissant, go ahead and eat it.
I promise that if you add enough positives to your diet, you'll be too busy with them to eat the negatives. If you eat a cup and a half of vegetables before you eat lunch every day, you'll eat less of whatever the problem foods are.
For me, the positive approach is more manageable and comfortable than the negative. It doesn't promote negative self talk (which is a useless endeavor. And abusive. And a learned behavior.) It doesn't feel limiting and cause rebellion.
Clearly the 'all at once' approach isn't working for you. Maybe it's time to try the 'one step at a time' approach.
When I lost 123 lbs. people kept asking me "How did you do it?", "What diet were you on?" There is no secret, believe me. You must eat less food and more your body more. That's it. Period. The key is to get your head in the place where you will stick to it longer than a few days or weeks. You have to REALLY want it to stick to it. Two things that can kick you into gear are: 1)A medical scare where you are told by your doctor that you need to lose weight; 2)You are totally sick of yourself and the way you look.
ReplyDeleteI meant " 'move' your body more."
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