Day 38-39: Breakthroughs come when least expected

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend the entire day with my step-daughter. She is nearly 21 and goes to university in another part of France, so we usually only see her once every so many weeks (or months). We get along well, but for whatever reason we have never gotten in the habit of spending time together doing things on our own. But yesterday after she helped me out with a personal favor, I asked if she wanted to go shoe shopping with me and I got an enthusiastic yes!

Shoe shopping turned into clothes shopping, and that turned into dinner out. During which time I was finally able to get up the nerve to approach her about a very touchy subject: her substantial weight gain during the two years she's been away at school. It's something that we have noticed for a long time, but haven't felt sure of how to talk to her about it (or whether we even had the right to bring it up at all, as she IS an adult). We know she is happy with a lot of her life: nice boyfriend, nice apartment, studies going well, likes the town she lives in. So we haven't been worried about there being any deep, dark secret she wasn't telling us; we just figured being a normal college student, she might be developing lazy eating habits, partying a little too much, and buying cheap food to stay within a budget.

Weight Watchers proved to be the thing that helped me break the ice with her about it. Last time she was home, I casually mentioned to her that I was on Weight Watchers, but I didn't say anything about HER weight. Then yesterday while we were walking around, I told her about the whole "I'm fatter than a Tongan" thing. I figured if I was open with her about my own struggles, it might eventually lead to an opening where I could either ask her about her own weight, or she might decide to volunteer something.

That opening came over dinner last night, and without sharing too many of her personal details (because this blog isn't really about her), the long and short of it is, she decided to take me up on my invitation to join Weight Watchers (I told her I wanted to support her and so did her father, and we'd pay for her to join the program). It exists in France and the system (and food lists) have been adapted to the French marketplace (and metric system), and once she understood how it worked and I showed her the tracking system, she decided to do it! She seems really excited about it, and she also told me what a good time she had spending time with me, just the two of us!

I think this is a HUGE breakthrough in our relationship and we feel closer to each other than ever before. It is not lost on me that the Universe generally gives you who and what you need most in your life, and so it is no accident that I am her step-mom and she's my step-daughter, and that we both have this weight thing in common. I also thing an added benefit for me is that this will encourage me to be more mindful of what I'm eating and of being on the program myself, because I want to be a better role model for her.

I am SO stoked right now, I can't even begin to tell you what a big deal this is in our family. I can't think of a better way to start my vacation. Which reminds me, the taxi arrives in 13 minutes so I better get going!