Day 14 & 15: Week 2 Weigh-in & starting fresh

Starting Weight: 225
Last Week's Weight: 222.6
Today's Weight: 223.8
Weight Lost/Gained this week: +1.2 lbs.  
Overall Weight Lost: -1.2 lbs.


The scale doesn't lie. I didn't have the best week. But then again, it could have been worse, too.

I got lazy with tracking and food choices; I'll just be honest about that. It's surprising how easy it is for me to gain weight even when -- comparatively speaking -- I am still being "better" than not being on WW at all. I had better days and worse days but the scale doesn't lie. It has the final say, no matter what I claim I did or what I believe I did right or wrong.

It is what it is. I'm committed to starting again today, a-fresh. My husband got back yesterday from his business trip, and my step-son is spending the weekend at his mom's, so I can kind of re-focus on myself and my goals with a bit more ease than this past week, when I was too busy and a bit stressed being a single parent. Even though this kid is actually quite easy to be around and take care of, when I'm on my own with him I am very conscious of my responsibility to keep him well and safe and "on schedule", so it's all about him and his needs. As it probably should be. I'm a lot less stressed when alone with him now than when I first met and married his father; we know each other, we're cool with each other, we can communicate better (the language barrier was a huge stress for me in the beginning) and we have fun together. But it's so much easier, so much better, when my husband is here with us.

I never like to think I am getting stressed out, about anything. I don't like to admit it, because admitting it feels like I'm saying "I can't handle this" (whatever "this" may be). Like it's a weakness. In my "past life" (my life as a single person who was employed in a very high-stress profession), stress was just part of the package and it was like wearing a badge of courage to say you could handle the stress; bring it on, I can take it, more more more!

When I left that corporate world, I made a conscious choice to leave that stress-inducing stuff behind me. But of course, real life is full of stressors from time to time, no matter how hard we try to made our lives stress-free. In my life at present, the main sources of stress stem from living abroad with an aging parent across the ocean, a nephew who is being deployed to Afghanistan by the end of the year, occasional periods where my husband is traveling and I'm holding down the fort with the apartment and the minor child, a rental apartment I'm managing (although that is going well and getting easier) and the fact that I haven't finished/sold my book so I'm not making any money. Next year, the stressors could be something totally different or even worse; and compared to other people maybe my life is a walk in the park. But we're not hear to draw comparisons, to say "My life is harder than yours, so what are you bitching about, suck it up already!"

In terms of what I'm eating and how I'm taking care of myself, I think one of the things I need to learn (or re-learn) is how to manage stress when I do have it, without falling off the WW wagon.

I guess the first step in doing that is just restarting from the basics again: drink more water. Measure my food. Track my food, no matter what is is I'm eating. Get out every day and move my body, even if it's only a walk around the neighborhood for 10 minutes. Stay away from the high-sugar carbs.

When you fall off the cheval, you pick yourself up and get right back on it again.